There is a moment in every man or woman’s life when they think back on something in the middle of some horrible sexual frustration and think, “oh my goodness why did I not do that? She’s a lovely girl with a great bum and I was brutally finger fucking it. I could have totally taken advantage of her; she needed what she thought was love and I needed to buttfuck her. All it would have needed was a little more time. Why do I have to have a conscious? Damn my parents for raising me so well.” Or, “why did I not fuck that nurse in the ass when she was begging for it? Yea, she had no self respect at all and seemed to exist only to please a man (daddy issues?), but I could totally have persuaded her equally messed up identical twin to get involved. Why oh why did I have to have been sleeping with that wonderfully self-respecting, strong, feminist woman right before?”.

  I used to occasionally have those moments. I’m over it all now though. I’ve left all those scruples and morals bundled up in a box in my dad’s attic. Hello debauchery. Next up: how far will a fresher go?