On Friday night I went to a friend’s house for her birthday drinks and annoyed and flattered a young woman who was the coolest and best looking member of one of my favourite bands (I say young woman, I don’t really know how old she is but she looks about twenty three(see, my mum always said I was such a flatterer)). I was looking through the Facebook event beforehand to see if there were going to be any hot chicks there, but it isn’t obvious from her profile picture that she is the same lady I remember signing my ticket all those years ago (it was on my wall for years). I spent the majority of the evening sitting talking to a couple of friends, getting drunk, and didn’t  really speak to anyone new apart from a girl who lives with a friend of mine. But then I realised that the good looking girl at the other end of the table, who I hadn’t even made eye contact with and was obviously in some kind of wonderful new relationship, was incredibly familiar. I mentioned to my friend that her on the other side looked like the former bassist from this band, as I had taken him to see them a couple of times, but he had no idea. I asked the birthday girl who this other lady was and she came straight out with it, because I wasn’t quite drunk enough to walk up to a stranger and ask if they used to be a band I love. It turns out, however, that I was drunk enough to probably make a little bit of a fool out of myself in front of a good looking girl (I don’t have to be drunk). I think that maybe she was a little annoyed to begin with, but then I soon got her engaged (obviously, my mum says I’m really witty and charming and good looking). I think I impressed her by expressing a knowledge of the difficulties and hardships of being a professional musician (my dad used to be a drummer but he wasn’t cool and exciting – he didn’t get drunk until he was twenty four, the first time he got stoned it was by accident, getting high from second hand smoke from American G.I.’s returning home from Vietnam via Germany, and my mum left him because he was boring – although it does provide a platform from which to chat shit). Apparently she now lives in the same town as me and plays a lot of Nintendo. I don’t really care for Nintendo, but I don’t mind that she does.

Today then being my first chance, I immediately went onto Facebook and found her. I didn’t add her as a friend, because I don’t want her to know how stalky I am. I did find her blog though, which further proved how cool she is. The first line I read was “Millions of dollars/pounds/euros and knuts”. If you don’t understand why that is cool, I am not going to explain. There is other cool stuff on her blog, but that quote is enough. Maybe I will just send her a message and be all cool, something like “Hey, I met you on Friday night, you recognise the moustache, let’s be friends”. One of her recent blog posts is about Valentine’s Day and one of the things she said to do was “just propose. Seriously. Even if the love of your life has no idea you exist then propose to them. They will get so confused they will just say yes.” I like older women (I can only assume she’s older because they met at university whilst I was still at school) and I don’t actually want to be close to any women (thankyou, mother) so I probably won’t do that, but maybe I will. I haven’t decided yet. As I don’t actually want to be close to anyone she will just be the next far away person I fixate on for a day or two. But I met her! Such a fucking loser, and I don’t even really like music that much.

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