I’m not talking about gay sex with other men. I’m talking about a gay man having sexual intercourse with a straight woman.

  This is quite a funny story that an old friend told me recently. We hadn’t seen each other in quite a time and we got drunk with another old friend that I hadn’t seen in an age and started shooting the shit and he told me this story about a homosexual fellow. This guy hasn’t had sex with a man but he is gay. He was, however, given alcohol and poppers by his straight female friend who is in love with him and coerced into having sex with her. He was just horny is all, and meh. Warm bed. Company. Comfort. Not being alone like how you’re gonna die.

  So he put his willy inside her and then he saw that there was blood all over his willy and he started feeling sick, as if he wasn’t nauseous enough already, and he told her to leave. Poor girl. 

  They’ve been sleeping together for a while now, when the occasion takes them. Never in his room though, he doesn’t want to contaminate where he sleeps when there is a spare room next door. It happens maybe once a month. It is a good-oh way to annoy her mother. Thank the stars Granny is so deaf. She is lovely. 

  She hasn’t slept with anyone else since she started sleeping with this bloke. Neither has he, but he hasn’t found the right guy. It’s dead cheesy but it’s true. She has, however. He is like her gay boyfriend or something. It’s an incredibly moving story. One young woman in love, one young man just incredibly apathetic.

  He did get pretty pissed off when I told him that I once had oral sex with a man and almost reached penetration but all this was before lubrication so we didn’t actually do that. He’ll get there one day. He’ll find the right boy. Filippino.