I don’t know what happened to all of my friends. I used to have loads. I remember that at various points I have had loads of friends. Now they are all gone, slipped through my fingers. I’m not sure what happened. I’m sure I can blame it all on my parents.

I’m not particularly glad to be told that I’m not the only one that doesn’t dig large groups of people. I’m not really a people person. I only put that on my CV because I am a liar and that is what employers like to hear. It didn’t even get me any job offers. I have been offered two jobs, but that is because I am amazing in person and can bullshit adequately. I’m not sure what your guidance counsellor’s would have to say about that, but I briefly attended a public school and associated with public school pupils, so I know what it’s all about. Talking shit to get a job waiting tables or mugging people in the street for charity. That kind of thing. Unfortunately my parents aren’t rich and well bred enough to really be up with the movers and shakers, but I’m happy enough with being a bottom feeder right now.

But anyway, my friends. I have none. Well, there are a few far flung individuals. The hundreds on Facebook are more window dressing, and have the advantage of making me appeal more popular. Popularity is very important. It’s not something that I particularly crave, yet it’s something that I have in bucketloads. I can’t get away from it. Everyone loves me. I was told only the other day how amazing I am. Funnily enough, I don’t really think much of that person. I’m a lovable asshole I suppose.

Is following a policy of isolationism such a good idea?











Yes, yes it is. Fuck you for not reading.